by Alberta Parish
As a woman, not only must I navigate through systemic racism, but also sexism in the black community. The social media rhetoric about black and brown women that has been broadcast for the entire world to see is hugely counterproductive, and serves no purpose in building relationships between men and women. It only serves to create perpetual animosity, and promotes the blame game between both sexes. In fact, any man or woman that has gone on a social media rampage against their counterparts is probably 95% of the cause for his or her failed relationship and/or marriage. The only reason why most of these people have a voice is because of YouTube, the self-hating audience they cater to, and the white supremacists who love this hateful content against black people. Without social media, these black woman bashers would fade into oblivion because no one would be watching them. No one would care what they had to say. YouTube gives these self-hating-black-woman-bashers relevance in a world where they are irrelevant and powerless.
YouTube sensationalists who regularly denigrate black women and their progeny often come across as miserable individuals who seem to have emotional problems stemming from childhood. Many were possibly physically and emotionally abused as children by their mothers, and hatred grew in their hearts. Consequently, some problems that arise in relationships between black men and black women are due to mental and emotional illness. There are many who have undiagnosed mental illnesses such as bipolar disorder and antisocial personality disorder. Yet, these same individuals have children with the black women they hate so much. Often, these black woman bashers enter relationships that always end up failing due to the emotional and mental illness they refuse to address. Instead, they persistently go from one relationship to the next, often abusive to the women with whom they are involved, and then make YouTube videos all day long talking about how black women are controlling, are loud-mouthed, and how black men can’t tell a black woman anything because she wants to be in control. But often, this is the opposite. In fact, those that cry the loudest in defaming black women on YouTube are usually the ones that cannot get along with any black woman including their black female relatives due to their own deep-seated bitterness and psychotic personality.
Sexism in the black community is the cause behind much of the issues that develop in relationships and marriages between black men and black women. There are black men especially those of a religious disposition that feel it is the black woman’s obligation to take care of the household, but at the same time he expects his wife to work every day on a job in order to financially support the family. Then have the audacity to use biblical scriptures to justify their controlling ways and abuse of their wives. The head of the household is required to take care of his wife and children, which means he is responsible for economically supporting them. In addition, any man claiming to be a Christian and yet abuses his wife while quoting biblical verses about the man is the head of the woman is probably a fraud. A true believer in Christ has a gentle nature toward his wife and loves her. But a counterfeit posing as a Christian may be abusive to his wife and does not love her. Personally, I have seen true brothers in Christ who love their wives and treat them with the utmost respect. What happens often is many wolves come among God’s people, and they destroy the sheep of His pasture. This is why there are abusive marriages in which one spouse may be a Christian (often the woman) and the other is not. Some married purely for convenience.
Sexism in the black church is no different than sexism in society. There are some religious groups that rail against female pastors, and do not believe that women should be in the pulpit with men. Yet, when the Holy Spirit fell on the disciples on the Day of Pentecost, there were both men and women present (Acts 2:1-13). The prophet Joel prophesied that in the latter days, your sons and your daughters shall prophesy. Some male pastors, elders, bishops and deacons love to cite biblical verses in which the apostle Paul wrote that he suffers not a woman to teach or to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. However, sexism in the churches does nothing to elevate the body of Christ, and quoting biblical verses from Paul does not justify having a domineering personality over your wife when God made the woman to be your help. Not your doormat. Quoting Paul does not justify physically and emotionally abusing your wife, or speaking down to the women in the church. Neither does quoting Paul justify quenching the gifts that the sisters have such as the gift of prophecy. It is also sexist to refuse to utilize the women in the congregation for the gifts and/or talents they possess.